Goodnight Mrs. Miller, Wherever You Are

I was given my first administrative position when I was 28 years old. At the time there was only one administrator in the district who was younger, he was 27.

Recent discussions that I have been following through a string of comments and postings on other blogs have raised interesting issues regarding age, experience, and credibility of educators.

The blog Dy/Dan pointblank stated that I have a “problem” in that I have forgotten the difficulties of being young and relating appropriately to students not much removed from my age. He also mentions his adjustment to suddenly being a peer and a colleague with others who are older and he feels compelled to address as sir or ma'am. Here’s his statement:

“Greg's got a problem which is gonna be my problem in a few more years. He's forgotten what it was like to play the authority figure to some kids who are only a few years younger than he is. And how transcendentally weird it is to call a co-worker over thirty years your senior by her first name while insisting that your students, some of whom were only in eighth grade when you were in high school (again, in my friend's case) call you ‘Mister.’”

Regarding his point about youth. To this day, I remember a field trip we took with a group of high school seniors. I was in my 20’s.  One of the students, a beautiful blue-eyed blond from another class did not hide the fact that she was “interested” in me. Laughing too loud at my jokes, standing a little too close, and somehow always within my sight no matter where we were. At one point somewhere during the day, we were at a restaurant when she walked over to me, and before I knew what had happened, sat in my lap. She put her arm around my neck and told me what a good time she was having.

It didn’t seem to faze the other kids in the least, but a group of “Elder Teacher Stateswomen” gave me a look that stopped my heart and knotted my stomach. (To this day I am convinced I sprouted my first gray hairs on that spot.) I extricated myself ASAP from situation and I moved to a place between two other staff (both old enough to be my mom) and spent the rest of the day avoiding the young lady. It was a clear as muddy water experience, I knew nothing “inappropriate” had happened, but I also knew something totally inappropriate had happened.

So yes, I do remember that problem. Establishing credibility as an authoritarian figure (e.g. teacher) when there is a small age difference, is a tricky line to walk. If one allows it to happen, students will try to make friends with younger teachers. I have seen my newly-hired, fresh out of college teachers make the classic mistakes: they let some kids call them by their first name, they “joke around” with students often touching them in playful ways. Or most dangerous of all, they do not rebuff obviously flirtatious behaviors directed at them.

When it comes to mentoring new staff, and by ‘new’ I mean young and right out of college, I have found it best not to assume there will be problems, or to try and answer all problems with the same grocery list of “rules”. I wait to see how the newbie handles him or herself around the kids and faculty.

I allow a great deal of leeway (i.e. rope), and trust the rookie teachers not to hang themselves. I do hover close, along with an assigned veteran mentor, to insure the success of the new teacher. But the manner in which they establish their credibility/authority must be “natural” for them and I only intervene if they are making an obvious and potentially dangerous mistake.

Generally, over time, the new teachers figure out the path and need only a slight nudge from me or their mentor. When it IS necessary to intervene, I have found that the problems are usually rooted in one or more of the following areas:

APPEARANCE. DEMEANOR. BASIC SKILLS.

Appearance: I don’t generally address dress code issues with staff unless something is clearly inappropriate. I trust my staff to know what professional attire is. With new teachers (and especially student teachers) I almost always need to point out that they should not dress like the students.

I remember a remarkable student teacher who shaved once a week, wore pre-stained jeans, and never tucked his shirts in. He wondered why his classroom discipline was so poor. Now, as a rule, I don’t believe men have to wear coats and ties everyday – I don’t. But in this case, I told him to shave every morning, wear nice slacks, a clean tucked in shirt, and tie. The results – after some initial (and expected) teasing from the kids – were an improvement in his classroom management.

Whenever my young staff has a problem with discipline, credibility, authority, I always start with their appearance. Surprisingly (or maybe not) there is a high correlation between student perception/respect and staff appearance.

Demeanor: This is a hard one to define, and even harder to try and teach to young staff. The transition from college student to professional teacher is a huge gap to jump. What exactly is a “professional attitude”, and how do you teach it?

I offer my newbies these suggestions as a starting point:

Do not allow students to call you by your first name.

Learn “The Look” – an impersonal, ignoring/dismissal of any students who try to become “too friendly.” [Careful here: I am not telling any new teacher to become The Wicked Witch of Oz or Mr. Creakle of David Copperfield.

Don’t “hang out” in the halls with the kid.

Do not ever touch a student.

I explain to young teachers that you MUST be BLACK and WHITE when you first start out. For my new staff, there is no choice – you are ALL teacher and NO friend until your credibility as an authoritarian figure has taken root.  I know this sounds pretty intense. [We’ve all heard versions of this before: “Don’t smile until Christmas”.]

But here’s the beauty of this. This draconian behavior is only temporary. It’s only necessary until authority and credibility are established.

For those of you that have been reading my posts, you have probably figured out that my administrative style is a bit ummm…shall we call it unorthodox?

I believe the best way to explain some concepts is via the use of cultural reference points – the most common being movies. There are many, many great films about teaching, but here are my favorite movies to refer to when talking about establishing Teacher Credibility:

Music of the Heart, Meryl Streep is Roberta  Guaspari who taught violin to students in Harlem

To Sir With Love, Sydney Poitier as Mark Thackery. The dangerous, but “right” way to buck the system.

Dangerous Minds, Michelle Pfeiffer as Louanne Johnson, a real-life former Marine.

The Miracle Worker, Anne Bancroft as Annie Sullivan – a classic movie often over-looked, but invaluable in showing how “tough love” really works.

Dead Poet’s Society, Robin Williams shows how delivery matters…who knew poetry could still inspire adolescents?

Mr. Holland’s Opus, Richard Dreyfus – reluctant teacher who’d rather be a composer, inspires his students as he learns the true lesson: teaching makes a difference.

Stand and Deliver. Edward Olmos as Jaime Escalante. Never let anyone tell you that high expectations aren’t for every student.

Basic Skills: This last area is sometimes overlooked when trying to diagnose why a new teacher is having trouble with credibility. Students KNOW when a teacher knows their subject and are prepared to teach it.

Teachers who lose papers, make factual mistakes in lessons, cannot manage time (arrive tardy to class), and just give an overall impression of “faking it” and/or being disorganized will be eaten alive.

Planning. Time management. Strong teaching. THESE will add to a teacher’s credibility and authority.

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As to the other point in Dan’s blog (relating to the more senior colleagues), allow me to tell you the tale of Mrs. Miller. I was in my first year as principal. It was an elementary school. It was also the home of the incomparable MRS. MILLER – Fifth Grade Teacher.

My FIRST year as her principal was her FORTY-FIFTH YEAR IN THE CLASSROOM!

Let me put it another way…this remarkable woman had been teaching 16 years before I was even born!

In her presence my administrative authority would dissolve and I would become one of her fifth grade students. No matter what Jedi mind-trick I tried, I could never remain her “boss”, her “supervisor”, or her “principal”…I couldn’t even relate to her as a colleague or friend…she was THE MRS MILLER, ever-crooked wig and all.

I might have been the principal to everyone else in that building of 800 students, but to her I was “son” or “young man”…never Mr. Farr and never, ever, ever “sir”. When she entered my office, I stood immediately out of respect. When she spoke and I shut up, looked at my shoes and muttered “yes ma'am"...(kinda embarrassing in a faculty meeting…)

I will never forget the day she came into my office to resign. She said she needed to move back to Arkansas to take care of her mother who had just retired from teaching…(do the math). The last I heard of Mrs. Miller, she had settled in Arkansas, arranged care for her mother, and went out and got herself a job teaching 5^th grade somewhere in Arkansas. By then it would have been 50 years in the classroom and still going strong.

But I must close this story by sharing Mrs. Miller’s last words to me on the day we threw a huge party for her. As I thanked her and praised her on the stage before a gym full of her admirers, co-workers, and students, she turned to me and said,“Young man, you stay with this, I think you might make a fine administrator someday.”

It was as if God had blessed me personally.

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So yes, Dan, I can relate to this part of the aging/maturation process also.

And Mrs. Miller, if you’re still out there…I love you. They don’t make ‘em like you anymore…and that’s the world’s loss.

Good Night, Mrs. Miller, wherever you are!

Comments

[Kelly Christopherson]

Great post with some great advice. It took me a bit longer to get going as an administrator but, yes, I remember what it is like to be the young teacher and the problems it can cause as you try to establish yourself. I also remember my first administrator job where I was principal in an elementary school where most of the teachers had been teaching for near 30 years. What could I offer them? At 40 I'm still considered a young administrator although there are a few younger than me now. I don't think one ever forgets some of those first years experiences or how they affected you. Thanks for the points, I know I'll be keeping them handy!