LeaderTalk

Little help here, please.

One of my proteges (oh, how I love to use that term when referring to those I mentor) is taking an administrative class with an assignment of MUST READ books for principals, future principals.  Anyone have a list they think must be among those reads.  I have already started a list from books already mentioned on Leadertalk.org.  But, please reiterate and add others if you are willing to help?

My take on year round education

I received the following email:

-----Original Message-----

From: Hoel Stephen [

mailto:[email protected]

]

Sent: Saturday, November 29, 2008 7:17 PM

To: [email protected]

Subject: Information

Greetings from Colorado!

Jan I wondered if you would give me your feeling on how your calendar impacts achievement at your school. I work in a building that has many of the same strengths and needs as Westwood. My district is looking at alternative calendar configurations as a possible way to get more of our kids where they need to be. I suppose the bottom line question is do you feel like you could be as successful as you are on a traditional calendar?

Thanks for your time

Stephen Hoel

Principal

Rocky Mountain Elementary

I had begun thinking about what I would post for Leadertalk.org for my next due date (the 7th of each month-- you might note it's now the 10th... us educators know what this time of year is like); and Stephen (who gave me permission to include him in this post) inspired me to provide my ruminations on Year Round Education.  What follows is my response to him:

I was not actually the principal who started the year round schedule at Westwood. They began the schedule about two or three years before I came; and the lion's share of the faculty and staff have changed since the original decision. However, I have had the faculty vote again (on more than one occasion) over the years since my tenure to determine the level of their commitment-- it's always 100% unanimous. I am writing this information to provide the backdrop for the number one foundation that must exist before implementing the schedule; your teachers must believe in it and be willing to support its full implementation.

The schedule had been in place for two or three years before I arrived (I am now in my fifth year); and the school was performing horribly and was on the state low performing index for five consecutive years. So, year round education is not some silver bullet that solves all the problems. My teachers love the schedule (each teacher has a different reason--- some need a rest after the hectic and intensive go-go-go environment of teaching urban, high poverty, high ELL students). But, it's not about the teachers; and I always tell them that if it's not about and for the kids then whatever other reason there is... that reason just isn't enough.

For instance, everyone wanted to do the schedule when I got there but no one wanted to work intersessions (the time off between quarters... we originally started off with 9 weeks on, 3 weeks off but went to 9 weeks on and 2 weeks off last year and no longer take advantage of intersessions--- except before state testing if we have some teachers who feel panicky without it). After a unanimous vote of support for continuation of agreement for year round with the stipulation that our own teachers (and I) would work at least 1 week for each intersession then we continued. We are paid stipends to work this extra time through our Title One Plan. If your folks want the schedule and aren't willing to commit to taking advantage of the schedule (ergo more intensive small group instruction to help the struggling children) then don't even go there (my opinion).

In my own district with 88 schools and only 3 of us on the year round calendar (or continuous learning calendar as it is dubbed); it can be real frustrating to me that all the big reports and principal meetings always seem to occur when I am on vacation... I am not that crazy about that because a lot of my vacations turn out to be working holidays.

It doesn't sound very much like I am supportive of year round schooling, and actually I am. But, I wouldn't do it unless I had visited schools that were doing it (with my own faculty) and then saw what it could do to help us be even better.

Could we be this successful without year round? Yes. We have so many levels of interventions at my school that it's dang near impossible to be left behind because we just don't accept failure with even one kid (sounds impossibly optimistic--- and we have to fight wanting to give up on a child or two that is currently driving us bonkers--- but it's true). Would we be as up up up and rested and thrilled to start each quarter with the enthusiasm that we have with the beginning of each school year without our year round calendar? Nope. That fact alone makes the calendar very worth it to me as the principal of the school because there is nothing better than rested, well prepared (most of them spend some professional development and classroom development time during our intersessions now) teachers.

By the way, I have now decided to turn this into a post for my blog (lol).

What part of your email, name, and email address could I use (if any of it) in my blog post?

Jan

The Morning School Announcement

Cross posted at drjansblog.com

Somewhere along the line in my practice of school administration, I learned that morning announcements can have a significant impact on the climate of the school.  It is my own little fireside chat with my entire school population.  And, since I have always aspired to radio disc jockey status, I have firmly grasped the microphone at every school I have led and risen to the challenge of entertaining, enlightening and starting the day off with a cheerleader's enthusiasm for the start of another exciting school day.

At my second principalship in the 1990's, I discovered a Deagan xylophone in the school vault.  I dusted if off and began to make it a ritual part of every morning announcement.  Some may remember the NBC chimes or even Rydell's principal:

Download chimes.wav

I can honestly say that there have been many incarnations of my announcements.  At one of my middle schools, I even read a chapter a day from some of my favorite adolescent literature books (Number the Stars, Hatchet, etc.) and created quite a bit of enthusiasm for books.  I have given intense monologues about events of the day like when Magic Johnson announced he had HIV (in the 90's) and admonished the children to be careful because if Magic could get it then anyone could. 

In April of 1995 when Oklahoma City's bombing disaster occurred, I provided updates and reassured my thousand high school students; I repeated that same role when 911 terrified the nation and I was there once again to advise another high school that we would be okay and perservere through this attack.

I have used morning announcements to let the children get to know me at my elementary school.  I learned a little Spanish to reassure my 89% ESL school that I cared about what they cared about and gamely have given part of the lunch description for the day by describing in Spanish "that good, cold creamy milk the product of satisfied cows" (a phrase I had developed for my high school students years ago and which they regale me with when I see them all these years later).

And sometimes I use morning announcements to discuss attributes I want my students to learn about-- like courage and honesty and anything that comes to the forefront of our practice.  Many times I use the annoucements to lay down a challenge... when 100% of the fourth graders this year passed the state exams I was forced to go to the hands on science museum for an overnight stay (and pay for it) with my thrilled fourth graders who had taken my earlier spring challenge quite seriously about the wonder they would experience if they all passed. 

Morning annoucements allow me to set the agenda for the day.  And, when I am feeling under the weather or particularly angsted about something, the kids know... and there's lots of tiptoeing on egg shells on those days.  Annoucements allow me the opportunity to set the stage for a further discussion the teachers will then have with their students after the conclusion of annoucements.

And, morning annoucements serve the purpose of beginning the day with a familiar routine that means... school starts now.  And, that, my friends, is a powerful tool.

Cross posted at drjansblog.com

Somewhere along the line in my practice of school administration, I learned that morning announcements can have a significant impact on the climate of the school.  It is my own little fireside chat with my entire school population.  And, since I have always aspired to radio disc jockey status, I have firmly grasped the microphone at every school I have led and risen to the challenge of entertaining, enlightening and starting the day off with a cheerleader's enthusiasm for the start of another exciting school day.

At my second principalship in the 1990's, I discovered a Deagan xylophone in the school vault.  I dusted if off and began to make it a ritual part of every morning announcement.  Some may remember the NBC chimes or even Rydell's principal:

Download chimes.wav

I can honestly say that there have been many incarnations of my announcements.  At one of my middle schools, I even read a chapter a day from some of my favorite adolescent literature books (Number the Stars, Hatchet, etc.) and created quite a bit of enthusiasm for books.  I have given intense monologues about events of the day like when Magic Johnson announced he had HIV (in the 90's) and admonished the children to be careful because if Magic could get it then anyone could. 

In April of 1995 when Oklahoma City's bombing disaster occurred, I provided updates and reassured my thousand high school students; I repeated that same role when 911 terrified the nation and I was there once again to advise another high school that we would be okay and perservere through this attack.

I have used morning announcements to let the children get to know me at my elementary school.  I learned a little Spanish to reassure my 89% ESL school that I cared about what they cared about and gamely have given part of the lunch description for the day by describing in Spanish "that good, cold creamy milk the product of satisfied cows" (a phrase I had developed for my high school students years ago and which they regale me with when I see them all these years later).

And sometimes I use morning announcements to discuss attributes I want my students to learn about-- like courage and honesty and anything that comes to the forefront of our practice.  Many times I use the annoucements to lay down a challenge... when 100% of the fourth graders this year passed the state exams I was forced to go to the hands on science museum for an overnight stay (and pay for it) with my thrilled fourth graders who had taken my earlier spring challenge quite seriously about the wonder they would experience if they all passed. 

Morning annoucements allow me to set the agenda for the day.  And, when I am feeling under the weather or particularly angsted about something, the kids know... and there's lots of tiptoeing on egg shells on those days.  Annoucements allow me the opportunity to set the stage for a further discussion the teachers will then have with their students after the conclusion of annoucements.

And, morning annoucements serve the purpose of beginning the day with a familiar routine that means... school starts now.  And, that, my friends, is a powerful tool.

The Power of Thanks

For years I have specialized in urban education.  It's a tough job to love, but it's the job I do love.  I could regale you with the above and beyond dedication that urban educators give, but I am sure that any committed educator could provide such amazing stories of compassion and dedication.

I think a lot of us suffer from the ingratitude of our practice.  We work a 60 hour week, no one notices or even comments.  Teachers might feel that we (the administrators) make the big bucks, and so we should suffer silently.  Well, I could go in to a million aspects of the job that are brutal with no substantive appreciation; but any research into the principalship documents the tough multi-tasking job we perform.

Something strange has happened to me lately, my boss for the last four years has begun doing something surprising and that I am not use to.  He is thanking me.  At first, I felt a little surprised and even amused; and then I realized that it felt kind of nice.  When I turn a report in both timely and well done, he thanks me.  No one has ever done that before.  I have been berated for being late or being inaccuate; but being thanked?  Nope, I can't remember that.  He thanks me for working on the weekend to get my state report done; I have done this for years without appreciation.  He thanked me when our state criterion reference tests came back glowing. 

It's been a surprising thing.  I have been thanking kids, parents, teachers, support personnel, my bosses... for years.  And now, I am enjoying being thanked.  I wish you could all appreciate the simple beauty of a heart felt thanks; and if you haven't, then let me say it...thanks.  We appreciate you.  Now, go out and give a heart felt thanks to someone; it'll do you good.

Just Curious...

I am an elementary principal (and a former secondary principal, central office curriculum person, superintendent, professor of education, etc.).  Throughout all my incarnations, I have been an avid practitioner of technological integration (all the way back to the microcomputers of the late '70's).

For some reason, I seem to get an uncommon amount of resistance from the Central Office IT.  Is this resistance common to other educational practitioners who are not IT folks or it is (gulp) just resistance to me?

Stand Up to Cancer-- My Life

We have been blessed in Leadertalk.org to share our experiences and perceptions about our educational practices. Sometimes our personal lives have a huge impact on our professional practice. Today, because I have recommitted to Scott--- and you-- to post on my appointed day, the 7th, I wanted to share a personal experience that affects all of us through our experiences or those we love. I could have titled this-- How Cancer Enriched My Professional Practice; instead, it's how I stood up to cancer (and is cross posted at my blog, Drjansblog.com).

The Breast Cancer Wars

I wish to acknowledge my beautiful, dear friend, Paige Blackman Fitzpatrick who perished from breast cancer over 12 years ago after a valiant fight with a vicious, aggressive cancer. Paige’s belief in her cure, her steadfast refusal to submit to anything but positive thoughts and her truly dignified and classy response to this tragedy in her life were a demonstration of a woman of uncommon strength and courage. There is not a day that goes by, not an opportunity that I may participate in breast cancer awareness, that I don’t think of her and what she has taught me about all the things in life that matter. And so it is the spirit of love and reflection that I dedicate this blog entry to Paige and only wish that I could spend just a few moments more with her now to tell her the life altering things she taught me and how much I miss and love her.

One Sunday night in late November of 2002, I woke up in the middle of the night with a strong premonition that I had forgotten to do something very important. I was a bit terrified… it seemed to be something VERY important. My mind raced as I thought and thought and thought. As I thought, I began a breast self-examination; it was a procedure I rarely, if ever, did. And that's when I found it-- a lump in my left breast. It felt like the size of a marble. The next morning I somehow got in to see my primary care physician. Anyone who has an HMO knows that such an event is not easily scheduled, but maybe it was the terror in my voice that convinced Julie to get me in somehow; and shaken I made it to the appointment. My doctor examined my breast and felt I needed to go to a surgeon. I felt better because she would handle the details of getting me in and taking care of business. By Friday, I still didn’t have an appointment; and I was just not going to wait around to get things going on (after all, I had a nagging sister, Gale, who kept pushing me through every step on getting this thing going on).

So, my doctor sent me to get a mammogram with ultrasound. Shakily, I stood for the mammogram and explained to the technician exactly where the lump was. She put markers and indicators to help the radiologist find the lump on the mammogram and then proceeded to do films on both breasts. I waited in my paper gown shirt for the initial mammograms to come back when the technician advised me that the doctor needed a more detailed mammogram and proceeded to take more mammogram shots of the wrong breast. Then the technician took me in for a sonogram of the lump. Afterwards, the radiologist took me into his office and pointed to the films on the light boards around his office. There was a suspicious mass in my right breast (wait a minute… we didn’t come for the right breast...it was the left breast….); but he assured me that the left breast was just fine… it was nothing, just a cyst. Interestingly, over the next few weeks, the cyst went away, absorbed into my body; but it probably saved my life or at the very least got me in to see the doctor at a very early stage. The radiologist felt like it might be nothing; after all, some huge percentage like 95% of these things are nothing, but just to be on the safe side…

During the middle of all this in December I had an abdominoplasty. I had had the tummy tuck planned for months. I was finally going to get to lay down the 10 pounds of sagging skin that I had accumulated from my waist to thighs from losing over 150 pounds. I kept asking the doctors if I should put the abdominoplasty off; they didn’t feel like it was necessary. I mean, after all, it was probably nothing.

So I had the tummy tuck and a week later, drains from the incisions still swinging from my body and the pain of hardly being able to stand up straight, found me in the surgeon’s office. He, too, felt that the microcalcifications that they saw on the mammogram were probably nothing, and I better go in and have a stereotactic biopsy. I would have to lay on my stomach for up to an hour, so the whole procedure was put off until the first of January. I had pretty well convinced myself that it was nothing. How could it be anything? After years of morbid obesity, I was finally healthy and looking and feeling good. It was just a blip on the screen of life. And if you ever get a biopsy, you will find that a lot of your friends will emerge with stories of their own biopsies and how it turned out to be nothing. My own sister had had to have a biopsy shortly after the arrival of her child, and my sister-in-law had had one just months before. It would surely be nothing… just like theirs had been nothing.

And I had had enough of any form of surgery… this tummy tuck turned out to be more painful and annoying than I had planned; and though I had hoped to get a breast reduction and get that Ally McBeal look, I decided enough surgery had been had by me. I was done. And let this be a lesson to you, never say never because the next thing you know, it will be coming your way again. I went in for my stereotactic biopsy. As I drove to the hospital, I began to tick off friends and family members who hadn't gotten a cancer diagnosis; and I knew that one in eight women get breast cancer, and I thought that maybe I was the one in eight. Then I arrived and completely put these thoughts out of my head. When I saw the room, I felt like I was going to faint.

I was compliantly going through this experience when the rebel hippy that lies buried in this bureaucratic woman of the 21st century just wanted to scream… Hell no, I won’t go. I had to lie down on a table with a big hole in the middle of the table for my breasts to fall down. I laid down on that table and adjusted my breasts to hang down through the table. I had to turn my face to lie on my right ear so that I was facing the wall. Then, the technicians came in and began the manual squeezing and tugging that is part and parcel of the mammogram experience. I stoically faced the wall and Donna the nurse hopped up on that side of the table, gave me a distant embrace assuring me, and advised me to think of the future when all this would be over. I had a hard time concentrating on what Donna was saying because I was frozen in the present remembering the details of this stereotactic procedure that I had unfortunately informed myself about through the internet.

I began to hyperventilate but tried to do it quietly. I thought the idea of passing out was a very good idea. The technician was busy squeezing and putting my right breast in what appeared to be the usual mammography vice hold and then the pictures began. There was, “hold your breath” and then “breath” going on every few seconds. Unfortunately, sometimes the orderer of the breath holding forgot to tell me to breath and I would sit there holding my breath and praying to pass out from lack of oxygen soon so that I could be spared any more memories or experiences in conjunction with this current experience. I knew (from my studies) that a stick and a stinging burn were about to come next. In whisked my doctor, a really swell gal who appeared to be in my age range and had that friendly, “I am here and in charge and everything’s going to be okay” demeanor that I liked to adopt myself as a high school principal. She said, “Now, first, Jan I am gonna give you a stick and then there will be a sting; but this is going to make the whole procedure a piece of cake for you because you won’t feel a thing; and if you feel a thing, let me know and I will deaden it more and it will be very painless.”

I immediately liked her, though I couldn’t see her. I liked her authoritative voice, and I knew I was in good hands. I braced myself for the stick. I didn’t even feel a stick, and I was kind of angry at myself for even worrying about that. Then, there was a little sting. However, the electrolysis I have endured on my eyebrows made this whole procedure look like a night out with the gals. Then, the needle seemed to go in deeper, more anesthetic; and Dr. O’Dell was saying something about being half-way finished. She was constantly giving loud updates about what she was doing because my head was turned away from her, and I couldn’t see or hear her unless she spoke very loudly. I particularly liked this bulletin of where we were in the procedure because I was adopting Donna’s perspective on visualizing the future. Throughout the procedure, there were all kinds of mammogram pictures going on with me holding my breath and breathing.

Finally, Dr. O’Dell made sure she had gotten all the nasty microcalcifications out and left behind a “tag” so that if they ever needed to go back in, they would know where they had been. She said I was now a bionic woman, and I sort of liked that image. The doctor was finished. Everyone seemed to leave except I could hear some rustling in the background; and my breast was still tightly squished in the mammogram vice thing. It seemed like I stayed in that position for a long time not knowing what was going on. Later, I learned they kept me all clamped down to reduce the bleeding.

After a while, someone came back in and unclamped me. Donna the nurse took me in for a standing up, traditional mammogram and then gave me an ice bag for my breast. I was over. The results from the test would be back in a few days, the doctor felt, “It’s probably just nothing.”

Now, the high school principalship is one of those busy kinds of jobs. You go in each day with about 1 or 2 things on your calendar and then you can have one of those days where you have one parent after another showing up with one crisis after another or maybe several teachers get sick and classes have to get covered…or a million scenarios that keep you moving so quickly that 9 hours later, it is time to go home; and you realize you didn’t even fit lunch into all those activities. No day is like the day before, and it’s a great job if you like that kind of fast paced, never knowing what is coming next kind of experience.

On this Friday, I was meeting with my athletic director about choosing the next year’s head football coach. We had quite a few hurdles to get all the details worked out. Suddenly, my cell phone rang, it was the doctor, her voice was ominous as she asked me if I could talk. I shooed Phil out and asked him to close the door to my office. All I remember next was the doctor telling me how surprised she was that I had breast cancer. I don’t remember much else except sitting at my desk crying.

Now, I am one loud girl, and crying is a loud event for me. I don’t know but I can tell you that having your high school principal carrying on like that sends a shiver through an entire school. No one was quite sure what had gone on but it wasn’t good. I either could not or would not control myself. I think that falling apart on hearing that you have cancer is a perfectly normal reaction; I just wish I had been at home to hear the news. Now, in retrospect, let me say that I really do prefer to get that kind of news over the phone. I don’t want to go into a doctor’s office and fall completely apart. I want to have a modicum of a positive outlook. But getting the news at work… well, it’s one of those embarrassing events that I am just never going to remember again and can hereby release it by writing about it here.

Soon, my husband arrived (he’s a high school assistant principal), and he carried me away to the hospital where I began the procedures of getting blood tests and x-rays, etc. My husband, Pat, who is used to my screaming, yelling, laughing, demanding, and all the outgoing aspects of my personality, was not really used to this crying, pitiful creature with him. It sort of felt like the more grief, shock and consternation that I could pass off to him; the less I had to experience myself. I suppose I am going to have to make amends to him forever; but that will also include amends for a lot of other dastardly things I have done as well. But then again, he plays golf a couple of times a week with very little impunity, so maybe it was just his lot in life. I will reconsider these options in coming years.

I would be having a lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy in a week. I called my primary care physician. I wanted something to calm me down (xanax) and something to help me sleep (ambien); and I proceeded to just make it through the next week in a sort of half alert/aware mode… which really seemed to work for me. I knew a bit about researching and began to dramatically research everything about breast cancer.

Now, if that’s not one boring grouping of information, I don’t know what is. But, when you have a diagnosis of your type of breast cancer, then that specific branch of the research is a little interesting. It’s kind of like home movies, there’s little interest in everyone else's home movies, but your own seem to be truly engaging. I have always detested the way I do life. I never quite do it right. I mean if I get a cavity, it’s a side angled back riding never been seen kind of cavity. If I get a headache, it’s so bad that it turns out to be spinal meningitis. If I get a divorce (first marriage-- now long gone), it’s because my husband didn’t want to be married to me anymore and ended up marrying a secretary in his office. I mean… I have never seemed to have a graceful anything in my life. And… my cancer was no different. I didn’t have your typical lump. I had a kind of indiscriminate area where there was an invasive fast moving cancer. My cancer at this point was termed an infiltrating lobular carcinoma. ILC is not your usual kind of cancer; only 10% or so of breast cancers are this kind of cancer. Naturally, I chose a different kind of cancer than the run of the mill cancer. It was par for the course. In fact, I was to learn later that I had a variant form of ILC called pleomorphic lobular carcinoma which is even more aggressive and rarer than your run of the mill ILC.

I went to my surgeon’s office; and I met with him. He was just amazed, as everyone had been, that my suspicious area had turned out to be cancer. He began talking to me about the options for the care and treatment of my cancer. Now, I am sure that all the women of the world out there are all excited about choosing their treatment options; but for God’s sake, why did I not only have to specialize in my own professional endeavors but now I had to specialize in my cancer? I remember him talking about a WLE and how they would just go back to my bionic tag and remove all that tissue and the sentinel node. I asked about a mastectomy and reconstruction. I sort of thought that this was the ticket because I had breasts that needed reconstruction anyway, so why not get my breasts reconstructed and turn this nightmare into a twofer… two for one… get rid of the cancer and get everything fixed. But, he sort of disparaged the idea of this, he used words like “this is cancer after all.” I have to admit to being a little overcome by the steep learning curve of this; and I just sort of caved in to whatever he thought. In retrospect, this was a mistake.

I also was consulting my daddy on all this. Poor ole Daddy was back in Chattanooga, TN… which is a heck of a long way from Oklahoma City, OK. Although he had done quite a bit of breast surgery in his day, he had been retired for a few years; and many of the latest procedures for breast cancer had advanced during his retirement. But many things remained the same, and he thought this WLE was the answer, too. And, I just hadn’t “come to” enough to be able to put my foot down and say that something inside me thought the mastectomy was the way to go. So, I found myself driving to the hospital with Pat one morning; and I proceeded to get the WLE on an outpatient basis. I returned to work shortly thereafter and began the process of recovering.

My incredible, gift-from-God oncologist, Dr. Aleda Toma, advised me early in the process that she thought I should have the chemotherapy. I didn’t really want it. The surgeon had removed all the "bad" breast tissue and 9 lymph nodes; the biopsies indicated that the cancer had not metastasized. I sort of thought chemotherapy was overkill; and I hadn’t had real good reports of how fun the procedure was. But my father had to get slides of the biopsies (and the biopsies themselves) to have his friends who were specialists in this area to study further back home in Tennessee. And in their study, they discovered that my cancer was one of the most lethal and fast growing cancers you can get. It was pleomorphic lobular carcinoma.

When I did a search on the internet with Pat to determine what it was, we got to a site that mentioned that most of the women of their study died within 18 months of such a diagnosis; however, current treatment was having good results. We both went cold and looked at each other with terror in our eyes. Pat began to gnaw on his finger nails over the next few days. Daddy called me and informed me that chemotherapy was not just an option… it was a requirement. And, we both struggled to keep our composure. He was all the way across the country; and I was his little girl. His health did not permit him to come to me; and I could not go there. It was tough.

I decided to have a double mastectomy; for if this cancer was this aggressive and I was lucky enough to live, I wasn't going to fear a breast again. I just wouldn't have them. Dr. Toma agreed with my assessment and even talked to Daddy about the need. So, I went in one day and had a double mastectomy. The next day I checked out. A hospital is not where I want to recover. I want to be home. Soon, I was well enough to endure chemotherapy; but I was in very weakened condition (all the previous surgeries to undo the ravages of extreme weight loss and the two breast cancer surgeries had taken their toll). My first chemo round was a hellish experience. I didn't know whether to believe that I just had a severe reaction to it or if I am, in fact, a super wuss. I had my first round of chemo. In my daring, "think I am going to be the best at everything" (even cancer); I went to work on the day of my chemo. I even went back to work the next day, but as the day wore on, I realized I must go home; I was sick.

And then the next few days are all a blur except to remember I was really sick; nothing stopped the unrelenting nausea. I got dehydrated and so weak that I had to go back and get ivs. I became so sick that my husband and two sons saw me take the fast track to looking like I was dying. And, I got a sample of what it must be like to die while your family watches. It was an ugly and hideous site; and it scared me badly. And I am still scared to this day almost three years later. Bad things happened to me at work. I was a workaholic before the diagnosis. I was compelled to work all the time. Even when I wasn't working, I was thinking about work and plotting work. And now, I needed work. And work wasn't there for me. I tried to go in as soon as I could get out of bed that first week.

What a fool I was. I fainted everywhere I went. I couldn't accept that I wasn't going to be able to work. Then my hair began falling out. I never thought I was the kind of person who would mind my hair falling out; but I did. I remember getting out of the shower one day and dancing over by my mirror (because I am a naturally happy kind of person) when I caught the sight of the skinny, bald headed sick woman; I covered up and didn’t do the happy dance again for a long, long time.

And, then it was time for payday and it didn't come; I got $38. I had run out of sick days. There was no disability. Essentially, I was laid off for the duration of my cancer treatment. I appealed to my superintendent; she said she would do something. My husband appealed to our superintendent; she said she would so something. I decided to quit going to work and fainting and still handling the stress of my job. If I wasn't going to get paid, the least I could do for myself was not die on the job. It was right about here that I decided I was not going to be a victim. I was not going to lie down and feel bad and let this damn thing and the inhumanity of those I dealt with at work get me down. Nope, I was going to somehow turn this whole thing around and make a winner of it.

Now how was I going to be able to do this? First, I had to start looking at it as if it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I had to start looking for every positive thing I could in the experience; and to make that the point of the experience instead of the daily horror that I experienced. I would look for the good stuff, the stuff you could only get by traveling this road. It was on this day, that I got up from my sick bed and I limply began to struggle through my life instead of watch it from my bed. The first thing I noticed was how worried sick my family was. So, I took charge. Though hardly able to do it at first, I got up and began cleaning and organizing my house. At first it was only picking up this or that on the floor on the way to or from the bathroom. Soon, it was cleaning and organizing the bathroom I was in… and then the closet next to the bathroom on the way back to the bed to rest for a few. Then, it was the bedroom I was staying in. And, you begin to get the picture. Not only was I beautifying my surroundings, I was getting exercise and forcing myself to get up a little more and do a little more each day. I also took on doing all laundry and cooking and kitchen clean up. It somehow gave me a sense of achievement and order in my life that seemed so out of order and control. And so, I began to take on the whole house.

A family going through the crisis of cancer treatment is a very brittle thing. We were all having a melt down on a daily basis. The family was in crisis. I took charge of the situation. I did what I do. I got busy. I began organizing a cancer education series. I was not going to be a victim of this thing. The time that followed is a blur of activity of getting chemotherapy treatments (and being knocked down from the reaction to it) and trying to be in control of this out of control situation. With the help of some fellow principals and my friend Betsy, I managed to get enough pressure on the district that they reimbursed me for my lost salary; but it was always an extreme struggle in any dealings with them. I had not endeared myself to my supervisors (one who ended up losing her position after carrying a gun on school property and the other one who ended up succeeding me to the school I was assigned when I began the cancer wars).

But, I had Betsy who went to bat for me with the district; she ended up having more than a few words talking the district personnel into letting my husband donate sick leave to me. You can read about Betsy in many other posts; but this is a perfect example of the kind of friend she is. She goes to bat for you. She attends chemotherapy sessions with you. She’s your soul sister. Eventually, my cancer diagnosis, surgeries, and chemotherapy experiences were over. The surgeries began in January, and the chemotherapy sessions ended on June 2, 2003.

I returned to work as a high school principal that summer. But, I never really had it in me again to be the driven person I once was. I was weak and my brain seemed to be diminished. During the cancer wars I learned a critical lesson. Life is not about what you accomplish or who you are or what you have, it’s all about your relationships.

For years I had given so very little to my children. When I became sick, I became an involved mother. I learned about my darling children and became a genuine part of their lives. I found that it was the most fun and challenging thing I ever did. I learned I would never scrimp on the important things again. And, to this day, the happiest part of my life always begins and ends with my children, family, and friends. I returned to my high school principalship in August after the cancer wars; I finished out that school year and had a really tough last year there. Everyone wanted me to be me again; and I just didn't have the mental capacity for that first year back to give and do and be all that I had been. And I was no longer motivated to give 70 hours a week (and couldn't physically give it anyway).

I finally was given my dream assignment as an elementary principal of an at-risk school the following year after the director of personnel insisted that I must be given this request. I took a ten thousand dollar pay cut, but it was worth every penny. The challenges I have had as an elementary principal of a chronically at-risk school have never equaled the moments of true awe and inspiration and happiness that I have experienced. Being an elementary principal has allowed me to have a life to share with my husband and children. If all the things I went through were preparation for doing what I do now, it was totally worth it.

But the tough thing about surviving cancer is that you are never quite sure. Each appointment you keep with your oncologist for six month check ups unnerves you. But then you come back down to earth, and you realize that any moments you get to live life are simply gifts beyond your deserving; and you feel driven to make a difference so that you can show yourself and God that your survival was an important and worthwhile thing.

I tend to live life in an attitude of gratitude and have faith that any travesty I am experiencing is there for some greater good. When I forget this, then my friends and family remind me. And, it’s made all the difference. In the attached video if you choose to view it, you can see what I looked like 5 years ago. I made my poor husband videotape me because I was going to survive this cancer episode and look back on this tape remembering that I thought if I could capture the moment that I could reflect back on the experience in the years to come and not forget the great things I learned from the Cancer Wars. I had to take Marinol (the pill form of marijuana) because my chemo experience was just one big nauseated moment after another; and no medicinal cure for the ravages of cancer should ever be denied to a patient undergoing a treatment for a life threatening situation… but it made me a bit goofy.

Download JanChemoApril2003.WMV

How to Set up a Breakfast in the Classroom Program (and why)

(Cross posted at drjansblog.com)

At a school with ninety-nine percent of the students on free/reduced lunch and over two-thirds of our students needing weekend food subsidies, we all knew that our children needed breakfast to have a successful school experience.  And while 100% ate a good lunch, only one third of our students had a good breakfast.  But we could not sacrifice the first half hour of our academic day to insure that everyone had breakfast.  It was one of the myriads of school concerns for which there was just not an easy answer.

When our cafeteria supervisor approached me about starting a Breakfast in the Classroom Program, I was less than enthusiastic; I knew it would be a hard sell for the faculty, and sometimes you just have to choose your battles.  However, shortly thereafter, our school district’s formula for staffing the cafeteria threatened the position of one of our beloved cafeteria ladies; and I grudgingly agreed to try the Program to save Maggie.  The faculty was less than enthusiastic as the Chair of our Faculty Advisory Team (Jeanie Tate) and I provided information and elicited input on how our program would work. 

There were concerns about attracting bugs, one star teacher asked us (tongue in cheek) if he were going to have to start wearing a hair net, the first grade teachers felt that their carpeting would be endangered by spilled milk, and many concerns surfaced as Jeanie and I worked hard to provide a workable response to each concern.  I felt a little bit like “let’s make a deal.”  No one could deny that the children needed a good breakfast, and no one wanted to lose Maggie; so I made a deal with the faculty.  If they would try it for one grading period (nine weeks), I would give them an opportunity to vote on continuing the program or not.  Maggie got a reprieve, and we began the program with a grant to purchase the supplies to implement the program (coolers, trays, etc.).

Program components:

1)      Teachers, by negotiated agreement, report to our school at 8:00 (which is 30 minutes before the start of the instructional day at 8:30).   

2)      At 8:00 teachers go to the cafeteria.  I am usually there and as the teachers arrive, I call out the teacher’s name and the students (who have arrived by 8:00) line up behind them and get the class’s breakfast supplies and go to class. 

3)      By 8:10 all students are in their classrooms with their teachers eating breakfast.  Our day starts off with all children eating and enjoying a congenial start of the day; one class of students eating together is a small relatively quiet group.  So, we start out the day with a great climate.  Teachers assign students to take responsibility for different aspects of the program (milk disperser, fruit deliverer, etc.).  Tardiness to school is a thing of the past for us; most everyone thinks school starts at 8:00; and everyone (even the stragglers seem to be at school by 8:30).

4)      Parents love our program and go to the classrooms to help; teachers love this because the parents supervise the program while they attend to admistrative details (like recording attendance on the computer program, completing the lunch count, checking in with their teaching partners to make sure everything is ready for the day, etc.).  This allows teachers the flexibility to talk to parents, individual students, etc.  And, we have gone from single digit parental involvement PTA to representation for over half of our students! 

5)      I make announcements at 8:20; and by 8:25, breakfast is cleared away by students (again, taking responsibilty to clearning up their area and working with their team to insure everything is put back where it belongs); and school starts promptly at 8:30.  This program has allowed us to actually begin teaching at 8:30 and recapture at least 20-30 minutes a day which had been devoted to administrative details, late students, announcements, etc.  There is never a disorderly climate for the beginning of the day.  Folks come to our school and are impressed with the “we’re all about teaching and learning” climate that exists from the very start of the school day.

After the first nine weeks of Breakfast in the Classroom with our students fed and ready to learn, our teachers unanimously voted to continue the program.  You can’t argue with what is good for kids!  And, our academic achievement?  Well, we feel we have better prepared all students to learn by eliminating hungry tummies and gaining valuable instructional time... in fact, this was one component of taking our school from 5 consecutive years on the State Department of Education’s low performance designation to over 100% of our fourth graders passing both math and reading on the state criterion reference tests this year (and the the rest of the school is in the tops of district performers).   

Secondary School Reform- Part One

(cross posted at my own blog)

I wish I could say that what I am about to share is new news or better yet- not true at all.  Secondary schools (particularly urban schools) have been in a crisis for a lot of years.   And, I know this information because I have been primarily an urban educator for several decades.

I first began my teaching career in the urban Chattanooga, TN Public Schools in the late 1970's.  I was on the first wave of voluntary crossover teachers (white teachers teaching in historically Black schools); I taught at Howard High School.  Howard had a fine reputation for many years before integration.  But after integration, many of the children of prominent local Black families began to take advantage of new opportunities in school choice; and they left Howard, and those who attended were pretty much low socio-economic Black students from the projects across the street.   The achievement of our students was critically low, and I was hired to teach ninth and tenth graders reading.  Most of my students read on very low levels (or not at all).  I was entranced with urban education.  And, I knew from my first days that I could make a contribution because I could teach my students to read and write when no one else had because the only thing that held them back was people who believed they couldn't do it.  As long as I believed they could, they could do it and would do it.

Throughout the years, we have been regaled with stories and movies regarding the plight of urban students.  There was the story of Jaime Escalante (detailed in Wikipedia):

"In 1974 he began teaching at Garfield High School, in East Los Angeles in Los Angeles County, California. Initially Escalante was so disheartened by the lack of preparation in his students that he called his former employer and asked for his old job back. Jaime eventually changed his mind about returning to work when he found 12 students willing to take an algebra class.

The school administration opposed Escalante frequently during his first few years. He was even threatened with dismissal by an assistant principal because he was coming in too early, leaving too late, and failing to get administrative permission to raise funds to pay for his students' Advanced Placement tests. This opposition changed with arrival of a new principal, Henry Gradillas. Gradillas overhauled the academic curriculum at Garfield, reducing the number of basic math classes and requiring that those taking basic math had to concurrently take algebra. He denied extracurricular activities to students who failed to maintain a C average and new students who failed basic skill tests.

Escalante continued to teach at Garfield but it was not until 1979 that Escalante would actually instruct his first calculus class. Escalante did this in the hopes that it could provide the leverage to improve lower level math courses. To this end Escalante recruited fellow teacher Ben Jimenez and taught calculus to 5 students, 2 of whom passed the A.P. calculus test. The following year the class had increased in size to 9 students, 7 of whom passed the A.P. calculus test. By 1981 the class had increased to 15 students, 14 of whom passed."

The dramatic story of controversial Joe Clark (also from Wikipedia):

"Joe Louis Clark (born May 7, 1938 in Rochelle, Georgia) is the former high school principal of one of New Jersey's toughest inner city schools. He is also the subject of the 1989 film Lean on Me, starring Morgan Freeman.

He took over as principal at Eastside High School in Paterson, in 1983 with a vow to change school operations and student behaviors. He made good on his promise and two years later was named one of the nation’s "10 Principals of Leadership", the same year the state’s governor, Thomas Kean, declared this formerly raucous institution a model school. Then U.S. Secretary of Education William Bennett praised Clark as a tough educator for tough times, saying "Sometimes you need Mister Chips, sometimes you need Dirty Harry". [1] Time magazine featured the baseball bat-wielding Clark on its cover and said "If tough love is your thing, you can find a lot to love about Joe Clark".'

And more recently Erin Gruwell (also from Wikipedia):

"Erin Gruwell (b. 15 August 1969) is an American teacher. The 2007 film Freedom Writers was based on her story.

After her year of student teaching, Gruwell returned to Wilson as a full teacher, this time with a class of freshmen. Her fall semester got off to a rocky start due to student protests of Proposition 187. But Gruwell persevered, and reached her students by asking them to make movies of their lives, keep journals, and relating the family feud in Romeo and Juliet to a gang war. [1] She also had the students read books written by and about other teenagers in times of war, such as The Diary of a Young Girl, Zlata's Diary, and Night by Elie Wiesel. Writing journals became a solace for many of the students, and because the journals were shared anonymously, teenagers who once refused to speak to someone of a different race became like a family.[2]

In the fall of 1995, Gruwell gave each of her students a bag full of new books and had them make a toast for change. [1] After that, she saw a turnaround in them. The students who school administrators had thought were not intelligent enough to read higher-level books and were destined to drop out went on to shock everyone. All 150 Freedom Writers graduated from high school and many went on to attend college. [3]

Between 1994 and 1998, the Freedom Writers garnered a great deal of media coverage, including appearances on PrimeTime Live, The View, and Good Morning America [4]."

There are so many more stories of urban super stars.  But, the fact remains that these educators came to prominence because of the critical lack of safety, order, academic achievement, engagement, and high expectations that existed at their schools before they came to change things in their urban schools.  So, this is to say that the crisis in secondary urban schools (and beyond) is not a new story although it is once again coming to the attention of a national audience (i.e., the ASCD with over 175,000 members nationally and internationally has targeted secondary school reform as one of their key legislative goals for this year).

Students toting cell phones and recording events in their classrooms, bathrooms, lunch rooms document the boredom, lack of connections, violence and horrible environments for teachers and students.  To see just a few examples of the worst of this situation (presented by Dr. Scott McCleod in Leadertalk.org to debate the issue of disciplining students for recording and posting their experience on Youtube.com or to applaud their documenting the case of secondary classrooms), please click this link to take you to the appalling videos of classrooms around the country:

Cell phone cameras in the K-12 classroom: Punishable offenses or student-citizen journalism?

And so, though not all secondary school urban classrooms look like these classrooms, I am pretty sure that there is no secondary school that does not have some of this behavior to one extent or the other.  My goal for Part One of this series was to detail the sometimes appalling state of secondary public education in many urban (and sometimes suburban) school classrooms.  There is no debate from me that there are some amazing secondary public schools out there; but my perception is that they are more the exception than the rule.

On to Part Two in this series where I will discuss what research tells us about what works (and doesn't) in secondary school reform.  You can follow this series at my own blog at Dr. Jan's Blog.

We are the One we have been waiting for...

I haven't been posting much; I have been disillusioned.  I work in my beloved Oklahoma City Public Schools, and we have had another embarrassing event with another superintendent.  After nasty allegations that reminded me of my own short lived experience as a superintendent (Which I wrote and published about in the American Association of School Administrators in 2001 shortly after the debacle).  Our new superintendent (we hadn't even grown beyond calling him "new") stepped on a lot of toes way too early in his practice. Our superintendent was "bought off" to leave... the district paid him $71,000 and the OKCPS Foundation had to pay over $225,000.  He only led, amidst all kind of rancor, for less than 6 months.  It's kind of left me bitter.

We have had superintendents come and go since I began my love affair with the OKCPS in 1988.  There was always one constant in my experience with our beloved district; I could count on a new boss with a new set of priorities with a new supervisor every 2-3 years.  I have respected several of the superintendents and liked a lot of them... although one sticks out as particularly awful; and he was so awful (in my limited perception) that I figured if he could do it, then so could I... and I was to learn that being a superintendent is a lot harder than it looks- particularly if you don't know where the bones are buried and what the sacred cows are.

So, when our last long term superintendent (three whole years of service) departed a year and a half ago, I was pretty sad about it.   I have had superintendents for YEARS AND YEARS who have professed a determination to take our district to world class status.  We never made it despite my unwaivering belief that someone would come along on his white charger and save us all. While I waited for the equivalent of our superintendent prince charming, I just plugged along doing the best I could under slings and arrows of outrageous proportion.

And, with this last superintendent, I was just convinced that the one who would save us and turn our district into a world class urban district had arrived.  I was wrong.  We don't have any plans for a new superintendent, and the acting superintendent only arrived in the district a few months ago from the superintendency of a small town in Oklahoma.  I understand that she hasn't decided if she will apply for the position when it comes available.  Our board president resigned amidst the nasty travesty of our departing superintendent, and our board vice-president was voted out of office last week in an election that pitted him against a candidate who by way of explaining his children attending private school has been quoted as saying, "I am in risk management, and I consider the OKCPS too risky to send my children to." 

It looks like we aren't going to have some dream like hero step forward to rescue us.  I heard Barack Obama recently saying that it turns out that WE are the ones we have been waiting for.  And, I realized that "WE" is us.  I guess I am going to have to step forward and help; though it's not like a sea of supporters are calling for it.  So, I have begun to analyze the situation in our district and have begun writing about it.  And, right now I am doing a lot of praying for my beloved Oklahoma City Public Schools because another urban failure is something we must all fear in public education.  Until we find a solution, all public education is at risk.

The Failure of American Public Schools

I don't know about you, but I am just about worn slick with the religious right attacking public schools.  I happen to count myself as a person of religious faith.  I am a Christian, and I believe in the wonderful Constitution of the United States of America which espouses a separation of church and state; and this has been no easy stance to take in a political climate that alienates those who stand for the fundamental rights upon which our country was built. 

Lately, the Southern Baptists have been debating fleeing from public education because of our failures.  If you are not up on the contempt that Ed Gamble, who leads the Southern Baptist Association of Christian Schools, has for public schools then I recommend you ignore him.  However, if you are Baptist, as I am (love that NorthHaven Church in Norman, OK), then you have probably heard the rants.

I recommend you tune in to Ethicsdaily.com to read Ed Sunday-Winters' Fraidy Cat..Here are his top 10 ways that public schools are "failing."

10. They fail to exclude students with physical or mental disabilities that make learning difficult.

9. They fail to exclude students who don't live in the right neighborhoods. Public schools are everywhere, not just in the backyards of suburban churches. 

8. They fail to exclude students who cannot afford tuition, books or supplies.

7. They fail to let children go hungry who cannot afford to pay for lunch or breakfast. 

6. They fail to exclude students because of race, ethnicity or religious creed.

5. They fail to teach from a narrow, outdated worldview that does not recognize advances made in all academic fields of study. 

4. They fail to advocate the beliefs of one particular religion.

3. They fail to recognize that some children just cannot be taught. 

2. They fail to quit teaching children when confronted with a barrage of criticism from political and religious leaders.

1. They fail to refuse any student the education needed to live life, embrace liberty and pursue happiness. 

Indeed, our public schools are failing in these and many other ways. And I am glad that they are doing so.

However, one thing that all of our schools need--be they public, private or home schools--is our prayers. Please remember to pray for our students and those that teach them this week.